Monday’s Mom–Darlene Schacht
Love and God Bless, Christy
1) Please share a bit about yourself–family, work, hobbies, joys, etc…
My husband Michael and I live in Manitoba Canada. We have four children (three still at home), two birds and a pug named Bailey. Our lives are basically surrounded with three things: our faith, music and everything books. I’m a New York Times best-selling author and my husband’s job is to empower writers to self publish. When I say our lives are surrounded by music, I’m not kidding. We have more instruments in our house than we do socks. LOL! And besides that… I met my husband on Valentine’s Day in 1986 when I sang at his church. It was there that he asked me to join his band, and the rest is history.
2) So many women growing up in my generation (I’m forty this December) grew up seeing their mothers “do it all,” working full time and being the total housewife. I know I always grew up thinking, Man! My dad has it made! That played a huge role in my rejecting the whole concept of being the “housewife” when I was young. What insights would you give other women who were raised with a mindset similar to mine?
The first thing would be to remind women that nobody can “do it all.” As much as it might have seemed that way, your mother couldn’t, your grandma couldn’t, and neither can you. If we are focused and organized we can certainly do a lot, but doing a “lot” should never be the focus itself. The bottom line should always be a matter of priority. Whether that means that a wife is a full time homemaker or has a second job outside the house, isn’t relevant. What is relevant is the treasure of her heart–where does it lie?
If you see a woman working to please a man you will likely see an unfulfilled woman who is seeking more for her life. But if that woman desires to please the Lord, and in doing so is joyfully serving her husband and children, she is powered by something much bigger than this world has to offer–faith in an unfailing God.
Does dad “have it made?” In one sense I hope so, since I love my husband and desire to be a blessing to him, but on the other hand I understand that providing for our family in a physical sense and guiding us spiritually is a big weight on his shoulders. Understanding that he has a deep desire to provide for us has changed my attitude toward him when it comes to his responsibilities at work.
3) I’ve seen many distorted definitions of what a Help Meet is. Would you please briefly share your understanding of what it means to be a Help Meet?
The Hebrew term “ezer kenegdo” is found in Genesis 2:18, and by definition it means “suitable helper.” To me it’s far more than being there to wash socks and cook dinner. It means that I’m riding beside him in battle through every spiritual war that we face. It’s interesting to note is that the same word is found several times throughout the Old Testament when describing God as our helper, and in nearly every reference where this term is used, God is coming to the rescue where He protects His people and defeats the enemy.
4) What were some of the challenging “roads” you had to travel as you discovered the importance of being your husbands Help Meet?
I think that the biggest challenge was that I went into marriage with a long list of expectations of who Michael should be and what our future should look like. Things took a different road when Michael started running his own company. I was home with four kids while he worked long hours. Rather than exercising patience and kindness the way that God calls me to love I let bitterness creep in and it grew over time to the point where it took over my thoughts and led me to sin.
Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. ~ Hebrews 12:14-15, NIV
5) What are the benefits you have reaped by being your husband’s Help Meet?
It’s definitely changed my behavior, which in turn has brought me closer to the Lord. It’s because of my faith that I exercise patience, kindness, humility and love. Living in humility has softened my heart, allowing the Holy Spirit to work in my life. My motto is “More of you Lord, less of me,” which is the only way one can be clay in the Potter’s hands. Being a help meet is first and foremost about my relationship with God, my marriage is a result of that faith, but not the root.