And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purposes. Romans 8:28
The most important lesson that I learn and re-learn is that God is in control and has a good and perfect plan for our family. He loves our kids more than we do and the best way for us to love them is to love Him.
I have recently been given the painful privilege of getting to see my desperate need for God. When things are going well, it is easy for me lose my sense of need for him and to offer up half-hearted thanks for the things that I take for granted, like a roof over our heads, food on our table, and clothes on our backs.
We are currently preparing to move from Virginia to North Carolina. As a part of this process, we have been looking to buy a house and recently found a home that we thought was a perfect fit! It was in a beautiful location, had a great backyard, the whole thing — and it was in our price range. We entered into negotiations with the seller, but right as we were about to go under contract another offer came in and we lost the house. It might sound silly, but this was incredibly difficult for me. I began to question God, wondering why he allowed this to happen given that we are moving in two months, and there is nothing else on the market and basically no other prospects.
The Lord has graciously used this time of uncertainty to speak to me, drawing out my fears and giving me the opportunity to walk in faith, to trust that He is working all things together for my good. Underneath the fears and anxieties stemming from the question on the surface–Where are we going to live next year?–lies the deeper soul question–Will God be faithful?
The answer, of course, is overwhelmingly YES! He has gently and kindly reminded me of all the times He has provided, of all the ways He has been faithful, even when it was hard and I didn’t understand what He was doing. This time has been less about finding a house and more about learning to really believe in His faithfulness. To remember that He has always been faithful and will be faithful again. And that doesn’t mean that He is going to give us a house that is my version of ‘perfect’, but rather that He is going to provide a home that is the best for us, because He knows best. I have felt so close to the Lord during this season of unknowing; even though the future is uncertain, I am continually learning to be sure of what I hope for and certain of that which I do not see, because God has always been faithful to me.