Yesterday’s Five Minute Friday topic was the word–real. I wrote an entry about how frustrated I am with how little real time I’m able spend with my children. I basically had a little fit right here with my computer. It was a heartfelt expression of how quickly they are growing and how fast the time is going by, and not only is the quantity of time we spend together decreasing, but the quality of time is, too. I ranted about how I don’t want this to be the case. I want real connections with my children, and yet I’m finding myself at a loss for being able to do that.
Well, about thirty minutes after I posted it, I deleted the whole thing. Don’t get me wrong–I was happy with the writing, and the topic is one to which many others can relate; however, as I reread it, I realized there were two extremely important things that went awry with this piece.
1) I had not turned to my Heavenly Father first. Instead, I turned to my computer to find others who might commiserate with my plight. As I am working to “write the Psalms on my heart,” I am seeing over and over how David calls out to God. Psalm 2:12 says, Blessed are all who take refuge in him. Psalm 3:4 says, To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. Psalm 7 says, Arise, O Lord! Deliver me, O my God. Psalm 5:2 says, Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God. And my new favorite, Psalm 5:3 says, In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. He wants us to call out to HIM, not everyone else.
2) I did not include any scripture. Instead, I ranted like I was griping to one of my dear girlfriends. Now, I know it has become the norm in our society to basically blurt out whatever is on our hearts to any who will listen, but I’m learning that when we do that, we immediately take the reins ourselves and deny the power of the Holy Spirit. We must not forget that when we speak God’s word (or in this case, write it), the power of the Holy Spirit is released, and His strength, grace, and mercy, washes over all that is in our hearts. He can help us see what we can’t see on our own. I don’t ever want to deny that power again.
I have been wrestling with Satan’s attempts to place distance between my children and me. I was doing it all on my own, though. But do you know what? God was right there with me the whole time, and when I came to the “end of myself” (a phrase I always use), He showed Himself to me in the most stunning way.
Last night, in the darkness, a shockingly intense lightning storm hovered over our neighborhood. Blinding light flashed continuously for almost two hours. In that time, two of my children scrambled into our room and climbed into our arms. At one point, we all moved downstairs for safety, and while there, my youngest fell asleep in my arms. His scared, tense body slowly started to relax as I rubbed his head. His gasps of fear softened, until all I could feel was the gentle rhythmic breathing of a child who found refuge.
Tears flowed from my eyes, and as I gazed at my son sleeping peacefully, I poured my heart out to the One who really needed to hear it. You see, we are no different than a young child who tries to wrestle the fears of a thunderstorm on his own. When it finally becomes too scary, we, too, can scramble to our Daddy and find refuge.
And we can wake to a new day…washed clean with new mercies…and embrace it.
Lord, I just praise you and thank you. Amen.
By Christy M.