Monday’s Mom–Darlene Schacht

Posted By on Jun 18, 2012 | 28 comments


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I’m absolutely thrilled to feature Darlene Schacht as today’s Monday’s Mom. She is an amazing example of a “clear vessel” which God is using for so much good! In the past I have used interview questions and answers to share throughout the day on our Facebook Page. However, Darlene’s answers were so rich and full of God-given wisdom, that I couldn’t just post them on a quick status update! I pray you will enjoy her interview as much as I did.  Be sure to share your thoughts below in the comments section, so you can be placed in our drawing to win an autographed copy of The Good Wife’s Guide, Embracing Your Role as a Help Meet,  which will be announced on the Cross Moms Facebook page at 9:00 pm tonight!

Love and God Bless, Christy[/learn_more]

1)  Please share a bit about yourself–family, work, hobbies, joys, etc…

My husband Michael and I live in Manitoba Canada. We have four children (three still at home), two birds and a pug named Bailey. Our lives are basically surrounded with three things: our faith, music and everything books. I’m a New York Times best-selling author and my husband’s job is to empower writers to self publish. When I say our lives are surrounded by music, I’m not kidding. We have more instruments in our house than we do socks. LOL! And besides that… I met my husband on Valentine’s Day in 1986 when I sang at his church. It was there that he asked me to join his band, and the rest is history.

2)  So many women growing up in my generation (I’m forty this December) grew up seeing their mothers “do it all,” working full time and being the total housewife.  I know I always grew up thinking, Man!  My dad has it made!  That played a huge role in my rejecting the whole concept of being the “housewife” when I was young. What insights would you give other women who were raised with a mindset similar to mine?

The first thing would be to remind women that nobody can “do it all.” As much as it might have seemed that way, your mother couldn’t, your grandma couldn’t, and neither can you.  If we are focused and organized we can certainly do a lot, but doing a “lot” should never be the focus itself. The bottom line should always be a matter of priority. Whether that means that a wife is a full time homemaker or has a second job outside the house, isn’t relevant. What is relevant is the treasure of her heart–where does it lie?

If you see a woman working to please a man you will likely see an unfulfilled woman who is seeking more for her life. But if that woman desires to please the Lord, and in doing so is joyfully serving her husband and children, she is powered by something much bigger than this world has to offer–faith in an unfailing God.

Does dad “have it made?” In one sense I hope so, since I love my husband and desire to be a blessing to him, but on the other hand I understand that providing for our family in a physical sense and guiding us spiritually is a big weight on his shoulders. Understanding that he has a deep desire to provide for us has changed my attitude toward him when it comes to his responsibilities at work.

3)  I’ve seen many distorted definitions of what a Help Meet is.  Would you please briefly share your understanding of what it means to be a Help Meet?

The Hebrew term “ezer kenegdo” is found in Genesis 2:18, and by definition it means “suitable helper.” To me it’s far more than being there to wash socks and cook dinner. It means that I’m riding beside him in battle through every spiritual war that we face. It’s interesting to note is that the same word is found several times throughout the Old Testament when describing God as our helper, and in nearly every reference where this term is used, God is coming to the rescue where He protects His people and defeats the enemy.

4)  What were some of the challenging “roads” you had to travel as you discovered the importance of being your husbands Help Meet?

I think that the biggest challenge was that I went into marriage with a long list of expectations of who Michael should be and what our future should look like. Things took a different road when Michael started running his own company. I was home with four kids while he worked long hours. Rather than exercising patience and kindness the way that God calls me to love I let bitterness creep in and it grew over time to the point where it took over my thoughts and led me to sin.

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. ~ Hebrews 12:14-15, NIV

5)  What are the benefits you have reaped by being your husband’s Help Meet?

It’s definitely changed my behavior, which in turn has brought me closer to the Lord. It’s because of my faith that I exercise patience, kindness, humility and love. Living in humility has softened my heart, allowing the Holy Spirit to work in my life. My motto is “More of you Lord, less of me,” which is the only way one can be clay in the Potter’s hands. Being a help meet is first and foremost about my relationship with God, my marriage is a result of that faith, but not the root.

 

 

28 Comments

  1. I too find bitterness sinking in at times and tend to take it out on the children by being short with them. Thank you for your insight Darlene, I have been a fan of your blog for about two years now and have learned so much from you! Hope I win your book!

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    • I wish I had known of her blog a couple of years ago! It’s all in God’s timing, though, isn’t it? I’m not sure how receptive I would have been then to the wisdom God is sharing through Darlene.
      Have a beautiful day!
      Love and God bless,
      Christy

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  2. What a great interview! Thanks for sharing, I needed this perspective this morning:)

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    • I’ve had to reread it a couple of times already, especially now that my boys are out of school and the demands of my role have increased exponentially. I’m learning from Darlene and others that it’s not about what we do, but where our heart is when we do it. To God be the Glory!
      Love and God Bless,
      Christy

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    • Glad to have you! Hope you have a beautiful day reveling in your sweet little ones!
      Love and God Bless,
      Christy

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  3. So excited to have found your site! What a great idea on sharing the interview ! Love it!

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    • Blessed to have you join us! Glad you enjoyed the interview!
      Love and God Bless,
      Christy

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  4. Awesome interview!! I love Darlene’s insight. I too have recently found her blog and I love it!! Thanks for sharing this interview!!

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    • I have learned quite a bit from Darlene, and I’m always certain God has more for me to learn! 😉
      Love and God Bless,
      Christy

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  5. Thanks for sharing. Thankful for a chance to win Darlene’s book.

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    • Thank you for joining in today!
      Love and God Bless,
      Christy

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  6. I have really enjoyed your blog; I found it about 3 weeks ago while going through one of those really ‘sour’ attitude times. Thank you for sharing your frank & honest perspective. I struggle with my identity as a homemaker & help meet, and it is good to know I am not alone and help is out there!
    The interview shared today is an excellent reminder that we moms & help meets can do this and will do this with God’s love filling out heart.
    Many Thanks for all your honest teachings.

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    • Amen, Cathy! We can do all things through Christ! It’s when I constantly try to do things in my own strength that they tend to go awry…
      Have a beautiful day.
      Love and God Bless,
      Christy

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  7. Thanks for sharing, I really enjoy her insight between living to please a man or pleasing God, that has really helped change my attitude even when I don’t see “anyone” appreciating my efforts. Thanks for the opportunity!

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    • That’s what really spoke to me, too. When I do start thinking about pleasing man, that’s when feelings of bitterness start to creep back in. It’s amazing how our perspective can have such an impact on our motivations!
      Have a beautiful day!
      Love and God Bless,
      Christy

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  8. I just found your website…what a blessing! Thank You for the chance to win.
    Megan

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    • Thank you! I hope it will be a place where you’ll be encouraged as we honestly look at how God is working in our lives!
      Love and God Bless,
      Christy

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  9. I love this definition of “help meet.” It reminds me of the phrase “I’ve got your back.” Because you really are a support, a complement, and a helper. Your thoughts on the challenges in being a good help meet really resonated with me. For a long time I found myself resenting my husband’s “freedom” in his work world outside our home. It led to a lot of “whose day was worse” arguments and competitions in our house. It took me a long time (and a really honest look at 1 Corinthians 13 and how I’d been rewriting it through my selfishness and pride) to embrace my role as my husband’s help meet. Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom Darlene! Smiles –

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    • Aren’t there are so many different things Darlene shared in her interview that resonated? A few that stood out for me are:

      “What is relevant is the treasure of her heart–where does it lie?”
      “Understanding that he has a deep desire to provide for us has changed my attitude toward him when it comes to his responsibilities at work.”
      “It means that I’m riding beside him in battle through every spiritual war that we face.”
      “Being a help meet is first and foremost about my relationship with God, my marriage is a result of that faith, but not the root.”

      Talk about some frying pan moments! 😉
      Love and God Bless,
      Christy

      Post a Reply
  10. At one time biblical roles involving me being a helper would have been offensive. My career was super important to me and the idea of mine taking a back seat rubbed me the wrong way. God has been working on my heart and is teaching me of my different but equal role. I’ve got lots of room to grow and would love to win this book as a resource!

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    • Oh Mary! I completely understand! I was the same way, and I still am when people distort the concept of the help meet. I’ve seen too many descriptions that made the husband out to be who was “worshipped” as a way to worship God–Talk about rubbing me the wrong way! That’s why I was so moved by Darlene’s perspective. It opened my eyes to the Truth. Thank you for sharing!
      Love and God Bless!
      Christy

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  11. Today has been rough in my role as a SAHM. To say I’m crabby would probably be an understatement to my 3 little ones (age 7 & twins age 4). Darlene’s interview is great… I really appreciate her blog/website though. A LOT! She teaches us that we are to be strong Christian women and to keep our values as such. It is so hard to do this in today’s society. Society teaches us that we are to put ourselves 1st and Darlene is great at reminding us that not only is this non- Biblical, but it’s a sin. I love her honesty and also I really appreciate how organized her website it!! Thanks for the chance to win:)

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    • I’m so sorry it’s been a rough day! I’m glad you found some encouragement here tonight, though, with Darlene’s interview. You are so right that our society pushes a completely different agenda, but with the different mediums now available like social media and all the wonderful blogs out there, there is support and encouragement in our endeavor. Thank you for sharing!
      Love and God Bless,
      Christy
      PS: And know that with each new day come new mercies for you and your children! 😉 I pray you have a better day tomorrow!

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      • Thanks Christy! It is a blessed day!!

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  12. I just found your blog today!!! What wisdom Darlene has shared!
    When I got married 13 years ago, I assumed my saved husband would be perfect…was I ever wrong! Because my expectations were so selfishly motivated, I was never going to be able to “help” my husband…I also became bitter. But God, being rich in mercy and grace, opened my eyes to the One who was perfect! I was living for my husband and not joyfully serving the One who died to make me the helpmeet to my husband! What joy to live for Jesus, who is perfect and will never let me down…when I serve Him with joy, my husband gets a better me!
    Thank you for sharing and pointing us towards Christ!!!

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    • Oh how true your words are! “…when I serve Him with joy, my husband gets a better me!” When you think about it, everyone we encounter gets a better us when we are serving Him! So glad you found Cross Moms and enjoyed Darlene’s interview.
      Have a beautiful evening!
      Love and God Bless,
      Christy

      Post a Reply
  13. What a great interview. Thanks for sharing with us at NOBH :)

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